Sunday, July 10, 2011
Missing Each Other
There are some couples who spend every night together. They eat dinner together, sleep together, talk or text throughout the day, and generally are in touch 24/7. That's all well and good, but sometimes there's such a thing as too much together time. When we first start dating someone, it's like magic. Uncovering someone else's secrets is intoxicating. What do they smell like? What kind of underwear do they wear? What's their favorite food and cocktail? What makes them tick? You see each other a few times a week and get giddy at the sight of a text with their name as the receiver. Flash forward 3 years and you get used to that new car smell. Relationships become so familiar that you don't see all the little things that make your partner special. That's why I am such a big believer in alone time; and friend time- apart from each other. Go to the movies alone, get drinks with your friends, take a trip somewhere...without your partner. It reinvigorates the relationship to not be attached at the hip. It gets you excited to see your love if you haven't already heard about their day in 15 texts. In case you haven't guessed I'm a car freak. So, here's another car metaphor to describe a long-term relationship. If you have a gorgeous Porshe sitting in your garage and you drive it everyday, after awhile it won't make your heart race anymore. But if you take it out for a long drive once a week, it's more of an experience you look forward to. Everything gets old if you do it all the time (including sex). So if things are getting kind of old between you and your mate, try missing each other. It makes the time you do spend together that much more special.
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This is your best post yet. V well-written!! <3 plus tard
ReplyDeleteHi, Molly. I'd like your advice on something. I recently felt really threatened and sad when I ran into some pics of a trip my bf took w/his exgf w/his parents. It was a place he took me to also, and, quite frankly, I had a bad time there. Not only did seeing the pics made me feel sad to see what was probably a special time for him, I also felt sad to imagine that she probably (it's a good guess) got along better w/his family than I did. Yikes! What are your thoughts on how to cope w/your bf or gf's past relationship and the inevitable comparisons that come with these thoughts?
ReplyDeleteHi Snickersbar,
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting your question. The best lesson I've learned about exes is that you should keep the past in the past. We've all had good and bad times with other people. It's totally normal to get a little jealous, especially since your boyfriend went on the same trip you did with his ex. But so what? If they were so great together they'd still be together, and they're not. He's with YOU and not her for a reason. Remember that you have a past too, and that's where it should remain- the past. Don't look at any pics that will just make you sad and upset. Also, try to not ask about his exes or talk about yours. It will only breed jealousy. Put them away and concentrate on why you love your bf and how good you two are together. You're his present and future, she's in the past-forever. As long as they still aren't in constant contact, she isn't a threat to you. Hope this helps you girl!