Affection Counts More Than Sex

I used to measure the strength of my relationships by whether we were being intimate. How often, was it mutually satisfying, etc. It sounds weird, but I felt (thanks to TV) that if my guy was satisfied in bed he would never leave me or cheat. Now I know it's not as simple as that. While sex is a HUGE part of a relationship, it's not everything. And it doesn't mean the other person loves you. I've been doing some reading lately and it mentioned that it's actually affection that determines the strength of a relationship in the long-term. So all the little love taps, kisses, cuddles, touches you do to each other are what keep you bonded- not a roll in the hay every day/week/month. Let me clarify though that this doesn't mean that you can refuse having sex and your guy/girl won't go looking for it elsewhere as long as you hold their hand all the time- no. Refusing sex and it just not happening for a week aren't the same thing. Life often gets in the way of sex happening for awhile and sometimes you need to just put everything aside and just do it- that's okay. But if your partner continually tries to have sex with you and you reject them- that's a problem. Sex should be something that you both enjoy doing and is mutually satisfying. (if it's not, work on it. Speak up!) But just don't get caught up on how much or little you're "supposed" to be having sex. As long as you're both happy in your relationship, you make time for sex when you can, and you remember to be loving and affectionate with each other, you'll be okay. It's the little things that count. Say you don't have time to go out all night with your mate. That's okay, how bout you just walk to dinner and walk home. The time you don't have to linger over dinner or at a bar you're spending talking while you walk, hand in hand. Moments like that are what keep people connected, more than just sex three times a week. So next time you're both watching TV together, lean over and kiss him or lay on his lap. Doing so releases feel-good chemicals in his brain that connect him to you, and keep him (or her) connected in the long-term.