You know that thing your best friend or your mom does that really drives you crazy? They always take forever to decide on what to order, or they write checks at the grocery store, or they walk really slowly- just a few examples. But what I've realized is that, as annoying as those habits are, they won't change. People are pretty much who they are- for the most part. You need to ask yourself, "does this really matter?" when it comes to getting upset about something your spouse does. (or your friends/family as well)
Things that DO matter:
1. Do they respect you? Admire you? Find you attractive and tell you so?
2. Do they do nice things for you? Or at least say nice things to you?
3. Do they make time for you? (no one is THAT busy- if they don't make at least some time for you, you aren't a priority)
Things that you shouldn't get upset about:
1. They work a lot to provide, in their words, "to provide a good life for our future," and aren't home as much as you'd like. Remember that you're lucky to have a partner who works hard and has a job- or 3.
2. They snore/fart/burp in (or out of bed). Yeah it's gross, but is it worth nagging someone about constantly? Maybe it's a sign they feel really comfortable around you.
3. They aren't rich. Money does. not. matter. Ambition, drive, and a good work ethic does. Do they (and you) aspire for a better future, or rather, the same type of future? That's what really matters.
Similar goals, dreams, hobbies, interests- these are the foundation for a "strong relationship house." Add respect and admiration to the love house and you've got a pretty strong relationship. The roof on this dwelling is passion- sexual passion. This also takes work and it ebbs and flows throughout a long-term relationship. But just because it sometimes quiets doesn't mean it's gone forever- you can ignite that sizzle again. It just takes effort. The most important question you have to ask yourself is: do you BOTH want to work on it? That's the key thing, because you can't be in a relationship by yourself.
